Tagged: Yankees
Cano…Can Do… Cannot…Say What?!
On June 28th, 1907, the New York Highlanders’ catcher Branch Rickey crouched behind the plate and proceeded to get thirteen bases stolen on him by the last-place Washington Senators. That’s not a typo, folks. That’s the Branch Rickey and that would be thirteen freakin’ bases in one game. Even my Great Grandmother swiped the dish from him that day.
I think…
Rickey, apparently the Todd Pratt of his day, would go on to become one of the premier Baseball administrators in the history of the game. It only goes to show you that, you never have to give up on a dream. Just adjust it.
In some cases, a lot.
If I didn’t adjust a dream or two in my lifetime, I would still be trying to become a world-renown glockenspiel player.
FYI: There are no world-renown glockenspiel players.
(I’m sure that it’s only fair to tell you that Branch Rickey was pressed into service because the Highlanders’ starter had a bum shoulder. Only Senators’ pitcher Tom Hughes and second baseman Nig Perrine miss out on the fun. However, with a name like Nig Perrine, this was probably not the first fun he ever missed out on.)
Hey! Speaking of the Highlanders…
Did you check out that incredible Yankees’ rally last night? Four runs in the ninth and then the Cano blast in the 10th? The last time the Yankees overcame a four-run deficit in the ninth inning or later was in 2007. This “never say die” Yankees attitude and win is obviously attributed to the afterglow of my show last night. Derek Jeter, you can thank me later.
No, I’m not drinking expired milk again…thank you.
Wait for it…
My Level D students performed last night at Second City and did an incredible job with an “against all odds” attitude. I want to take credit for giving them an awe inspiring speech before hand as I had them take a knee and listen to a parable of the 1996 Yankees. (After they laughed at me, the nervous tension was broken and they went out there to have an incredible show.)
You can thank my speech…or their talent. Either or.
FYI: One of my students last night informed me that she was born in 1990, making her six years old in 1996. If you need me, I’ll be hitting myself in the face with a toaster oven.
On a personal note, happy birthday to one of the best Intern advisors ever – Tim Wiles of the National Baseball Hall of Fame. (I was a Research Intern, class of 2002.) Tim, you’re fabulous. Tonight, I’m going to get Kangaroo Courted in your honor.
Mission Accomplished: Finishing “The Yankee Years”, Screwing Up an Audition and Scoring a Super Bowl
So, I finally finished The Yankee Years and I was pleasantly surprised. It wasn’t at all what I expected. After earlier chapters portraying Roger Clemens and Jason Giambi through Rose-colored glasses, I was ready for several hundred pages of sentimental clap-trap. What I got was a thoughtful treatise on what brought the Yankees dynasty to an end, a Money Ball Part II per say.
Ok…so treatise might be too dramatic of a word. It’s not Thomas Paine’s “Common Sense”.
But come to think of it, it not very far off.
Speaking of drama, I had an audition this week for an MLB Master Card commercial. If there was one audition I could ace, it would be that. Right? Right?!
Not so fast…
The only requirement was to be a “Super Fan”. A “Super Fan”?! Trust me. I got this.
Not so fast…
Sunburned middle-aged White Sox fans were more camera friendly than me? Their flat Midwestern pronunciations of “Sox Park” were apparently sexier.
And where the hell did the eight Yankee fans that screen tested before me come from?! I was in the West Loop of Chicago for Christ Sakes! It was only 10:30am.
It’s fine … Errggghh…
Speaking of being fine, let’s hear it for the Meadowlands being named the home of the 2014 Super Bowl. Yeah!
I have actually wanted to talk about this for a while but I got a bit sidetracked over the last couple of weeks.
I enjoy the detractors who felt that a cold weather climate stadium wasn’t appropriate to host the Super Bowl. Waa? What do you call the rest of the darn season?
FYI: Baseball has no problem pulling off their Fall Classic in the Bronx like… what? Every other year? And what about teams like Colorado? They get snow delays on Opening Day. Stop being such pansies about it, NFL.
On a side note, I get from a marketing standpoint why they are calling it the NY/NJ Super Bowl. However, let’s give New Jersey a bit more credit. It may not be as glamorous as New York, but where does America think the Meadowlands is located? Be thankful for Northern New Jersey, because without it, you would be stuck in traffic on the Island every time you wanted to catch a flight and frankly…you could kiss IKEA good bye.
And New Jersey, chin up! You might be the ******* step-child of New York again, but who’s going to rake in that tax revenue? Woot! Woot!
Picking Up the Pace of The Game
Major League Baseball has a great article online today about the growing length of the average Baseball game. If you weren’t able to catch it, here it is (http://tinyurl.com/26e3bck). Don’t get me wrong. Nothing can compare to spending a day at the Ballpark. Nonetheless, a trip to the Ballpark is beginning to swallow up more and more of that day. An average game is running now just under three hours. That’s almost a fifth of your day. I contemplated bringing a change of clothes on my last trip to U.S. Cellular Field.
Yankees vs. Red Sox games average about three and half hours. Good job guys! We’re number one! We’re number one!
I blame the need to advertise all those Yankeeographies.
So, Bud Selig put together a committee to figure out what’s going on.
I can tell you what’s going on…
If we’re watching three hours of great baseball, that’s one thing. Watching three hours of a Batter stepping in and out of the box and a Pitcher dance around the mound after every curveball is a colossal waste of time. Isn’t the whole idea to work quickly (at least from a Starting Pitcher’s point of view)?
I’m down with the revival of the Running Game. It keeps me engaged. I’m also whole-heartedly against putting a clock on the game. You wanna clock? Go watch Football. Nevertheless, these self-indulgent habits (some of which are totally for the television camera) have got to be curtailed in some way. George Will discusses how these bad habits have trickled down to the Little League Level, so that’s where the education needs to begin. Great, so this problem should be solved in about twenty years.
Talk about efficiency.
Speaking of efficiency
Did anyone get a chance to see former Yankees Pitcher, Ted Lilly, last night lose a No Hitter in the Ninth? Lilly has truly flourished into a good dependable pitcher. The Yankees sold him down the river without really giving him a chance to develop.
At least we got a great pitcher in return. Oh wait…
As I attempt another Fred Lewis Joke…
About two weeks ago
I was working in the Box Office at one of Second City’s studio theatres. It was a slow night, so I was doing the only thing a diligent employee would do. I was listening to the Yankees game on MLB Radio and checking my Facebook page. I write this freely knowing that my boss doesn’t read my blog. I’ve decided to openly taunt him now.
On one of my many visits back to Facebook (aka the Social Media enslaver), a wall post popped up from my friend George. You see, he was apparently watching the Yankees Game on YES. This was an impressive fete within and of itself because he lives in Chicago. I figure he was visiting New York or watching the game on satellite. Anywho, on one of the station breaks, he saw me on a YES Network commercial! Apparently they used some of the shots off my page for the latest advertisement they’re running. Am I getting paid? No (but why would that be a shocker). Is it awesome? Absolutely, considering this all began as a revenge blog against a guy (and ex-Yankee fan) who had done me wrong.
Also about two weeks ago
Hideki Irabu resurfaced with a DUI. Hideki Irabu, you are a glorified car crash (all puns intended).
Speaking of embarrassing Fat Toads
It’s hard to look back at that period in Yankee history, the end of a dynasty. The mid-Aughts could best be described as a period of “delicate” personalities, personal trainers and a complete loss of the definition of teammate. (Carl Pavano? Anyone?)
For the kids who don’t remember, this was a time when the Yankees refused to catch on to the Sabermetrics movement. They acted less like the tough jock on the block and more like your grandpa who still insisted that television was a passing fad.
Looking back at last year’s championship team, it’s easy to see why they won. As opposed to those brittle out-of-date rosters of the mid-Aughts, most of these guys were quiet work horses. No big boppers (except for the obvious). No real baggage (except for the obvious). Girardi set up a team first clubhouse, not much different than Torre’s 1996 Yankees.
Speaking of looking back
I am missing my ten year college reunion this week. Wow, has it been ten years? Even worse, has it really been ten years since the Subway Series? As lopsided and sloppy as that series was, and by god it was (I’m looking at you, Timo Perez), it was by far the most fun. Any series that includes Turk Wendell smack talk and a flooded club house is begging to be the next installment in the “Major League” franchise.
Where’s Cerrano when you need him?
Well, I can at least tell you where I was
I was stuck in Arkansas doing a show (and I use the word “stuck” because I refuse to believe that anyone voluntarily does anything in Arkansas) during the series. I distinctly remember a local sportscaster saying, “Well, it’s New York’s world. We’re just playing in it.” In a way, aint he right?
That was so douchey of me. : )
And to conclude in Douchey fashion…
The Yankees lost to the Jays today (3 to 2 in 14 innings). It only goes to show, Fred Lewis is going to haunt me for the rest of the year because I didn’t draft him…or at least haunt me until he has to go back to work for tax season.
Fred Lewis joke! Wooo!
Memorial Day-Taking a moment to reflect on those who made the greatest sacrifice…that and to reflect on why Major League Baseball makes teams wear such ugly hats?
On a raining Memorial Day in Chicago with the Lame-O Cubs in Pittsburgh and the White Sox off, I reminisce about attending ballgames at old Yankees Stadium. The bright sunshine enveloping you, the feeling like time stood still (in a good way, not in a “too many trips to the mound” way)… the memories are distinct and indescribable. They’re also the antithesis of dreary Chicago Baseball (weather and otherwise). There was nothing like walking through the dark tunnel that opened up to the field, seeing that amazing bright green grass. The electricity was visceral.
I can’t remember being at the Stadium on a Memorial Day. Nonetheless, I spent my fair share of Independence Days in the Boogie Down. My favorite would easily be July 4th, 2002. A road trip from Cooperstown found me and a bunch of fellow interns from the National Baseball Hall of Fame in the Bleachers. I’ll never forget Beth (from Tennessee) being memorized by the name chant at the top of the first.
– Are you sayin’ that we get to chant their names until the players are forced to wave at us?
– Yeah, aint it great?
I can’t remember who won that day, not because I’m ending this story on a soft “Wonder Years” moment. I actually got amazing cranky, because they took Mike Mussina out for Mike Stanton. I was looking at a five hour drive ahead of me and I’m staying for Mike Stanton?
Happy Memorial Day!
It’s that time of year where we take a moment to reflect on those who made the greatest sacrifice for our country…that and to reflect on why Major League Baseball makes teams where such ugly hats this day. Seriously, can’t we just pop an American Flag on the side and call it a day? The white hat with the red bill jars me. Yuck.
And if your Barbeque hasn’t been rained out, like mine…
Raise a beer to Indians Pitcher David Huff. If anything, you can say he had a rough week and deserves a cold one himself. And raise a burger (or a veggie burger if you’re absolutely no fun) to Alex Rodriguez for showing that even the slickest ballplayers can have a heart.
Memorial Day-Taking a moment to reflect on those who made the greatest sacrifice…that and to reflect on why Major League Baseball makes teams wear such ugly hats
On a raining Memorial Day in Chicago with the Lame-O Cubs in Pittsburgh and the White Sox off, I reminisce about attending ballgames at old Yankees Stadium. The bright sunshine enveloping you, the feeling like time stood still (in a good way, not in a “too many trips to the mound” way)… the memories are distinct and indescribable. They’re also the antithesis of dreary Chicago Baseball (weather and otherwise). There was nothing like walking through the dark tunnel that opened up to the field, seeing that amazing bright green grass. The electricity was visceral.
I can’t remember being at the Stadium on a Memorial Day. Nonetheless, I spent my fair share of Independence Days in the Boogie Down. My favorite would easily be July 4th, 2002. A road trip from Cooperstown found me and a bunch of fellow interns from the National Baseball Hall of Fame in the Bleachers. I’ll never forget Beth (from Tennessee) being memorized by the name chant at the top of the first.
– Are you sayin’ that we get to chant their names until the players are forced to wave at us?
– Yeah, aint it great?
I can’t remember who won that day, not because I’m ending this story on a soft “Wonder Years” moment. I actually got amazing cranky, because they took Mike Mussina out for Mike Stanton. I was looking at a five hour drive ahead of me and I’m staying for Mike Stanton?
Happy Memorial Day!
It’s that time of year where we take a moment to reflect on those who made the greatest sacrifice for our country…that and to reflect on why Major League Baseball makes teams where such ugly hats this day. Seriously, can’t we just pop an American Flag on the side and call it a day? The white hat with the red bill jars me. Yuck.
And if your Barbeque hasn’t been rained out, like mine…
Raise a beer to Indians Pitcher David Huff. If anything, you can say he had a rough week and deserves a cold one himself. And raise a burger (or a veggie burger if you’re absolutely no fun) to Alex Rodriguez for showing that even the slickest ballplayers can have a heart.
Why Mark Teixeira might lead to My Hyper-Tension…
It’s that time of year – Interleague! Who could forget such classic match-ups as Toronto vs. Arizona or Colorado vs. Kansas City? We cannot always meet up with our “natural” rival. In some cases, our team may not even have a “natural” rival, which leads to some pretty lame match-ups. When push comes to shove though, Interleague is still the best thing to happen to Major League Baseball.
Does it devalue the World Series? No way. It just makes the rivalry that more heated. I would make an argument that the All-Star Game deciding Home Field advantage is more devaluing.
However, speaking of devaluing…
The Subway Series
Talk about two teams limping to the midpoint. Ugh! This series has been almost intolerable to watch, or in my case, to listen to on Game Day Audio. The only thing it has going for it is that C.C. is on the mound today, facing Johan.
Which I would love to see if it wasn’t for…
The Blackhawks
Yeah, I know I’m not in the New York market. Nonetheless, because Chicago is currently the center of the Hockey universe, it’s near impossible to find a decent Baseball game on television. What makes it worse is that the Cubs are playing the thrill-a-moment Texas Rangers and the White Sox are playing the limping Marlins (who are at least at .500 which is better than either of the Chicago teams can say). I finally gave up and landed on Boston vs. Philadelphia on TBS. Tim Wakefield is about to come to bat.
Talk about comedy, which is what you can totally call my…
Fantasy Baseball Team
Teixeria! Mark, you are killing me. You’ve cold again?! You’re like my douchey ex-boyfriend. You can’t be serious!
Which speaking of being the epitome of professionalism…
The TBS Announcers
Come on guys! I understand that Boston took a No-No pretty late into the game yesterday, but it didn’t happen. Move on. Isn’t there a game you should be covering? I’m sorry. Almost No-No’s are no big deal (unless you’re Tom Seaver). If it was a big deal, it would be a No-No. Am I wrong on this?
I’m going to spend the rest of my afternoon reading “The Yankee Years” and eating my homemade soup (which I made for the first time this morning by the way).
Thoughts on this week (The Yanks, Ernie and why can’t Fred Lewis do my taxes?)
Tonight’s Yankees Game
Bases Loaded, no one out… the Yanks push across two runs. Derek Jeter steps up to bat and scorches what is certain to be the go-ahead run; however, a certain Mr. Ordonez chillin’ in the outfield didn’t quite get the memo. He was a steel trap. Unfriggenbelievable! Did you see that play?! I am absolutely sure that I broke a blood vessel and woke up half of Staten Island.
I hate to say it but the Yanks are bit beat up right now. New York Yankees meet the New York Mets. They’re old hats at this injury thing. You might be able to take a lesson from them. (Shudder)
Seriously, tomorrow is a night game. Rest up boys. You have three more games in the Motor City and Johnny Damon is not going away.
I’m home this week for a vacation, so I actually got to watch the Yankees on the YES Network. Holy Jesus! The YES Network easily employs some of the most half-assed announcers in Major League Baseball. Jeez! Michael Kay, what game are you watching? Did anyone hear him say that the Yankees won 4 to 5 after the final out? Even better, how did Sergio Mitre give the Yanks what they needed? He went 4 lousy innings and gave up 4 runs!
Nonetheless, listening to Michael Kay is still easier than listening to Joe Morgan.
Thoughts on this week
On Friday Night, I saw my first live American League game in… Ugh, God knows when. It’s embarrasing. Anyways, I saw the White Sox vs. Toronto at the Cell. It was a pretty interesting pitching duel that ended in extra innings. Normally, this would be pretty cool, but it was 40 degrees that night. 40 Degrees! It’s May, Chicago! Come on! (Come to think of it, there’s a word play/weather joke here but I’m still nursing that broken blood vessel to think it out.)
No doubt about it, my heart belongs to the American League. Those were the teams I was born and raised on, BUT there’s something to be said for the excitement of National League “small ball.” The game just looks more strategic and elegant when you’re not slugging it out.
And FYI: Fred Lewis is easily the most Accountant-sounding player name in all of Major League Baseball.
And speaking of the Tigers…
Last week we lost one of the great announcers in Baseball, Ernie Harwell. With the loss of Harwell (and Harry Kalas last year), I’m reminded of what a dying art calling a baseball game can be. When I graduated Fordham University, Vin Scully was our commencement speaker. First, how cool is that?! Second, talk about the personification of elegance. Now, when my name was called to get my diploma, if I only could have gotten him to say…”Now batting…”
Happy Opening Day from a Facebook Point of View
In honor of this glorious Opening Day (aren’t they all?), the following are some of the funniest baseball conversations I’ve heard, had, or saw on Facebook all day…
Jessie S. set her Facebook status to say, “Jessie S. is so happy for baseball.” Jess, I’m confused…aren’t you an Indians fan?
Speaking of Indians fans, the following is just an excerpt of Maureen W.’s love letter to the Cleveland Indians Front Office, “Dear Cleveland Indians, I thought we were going to try to win this year. Remember? Oh, your cheap-*** owners got rid of everybody during the off-season? I miss the mid-90s.” Me too, Mo. Slap bracelets can’t come back quick enough.
Andrew R. says, “Go Baseball!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Where? If this involves me getting on the Red line in the dead heat of the summer, I’m taking up hockey.
Peter G. says, “Watched the Cubs get down 14-5 before I finally turned it off. Cubs, you are in serious danger of me allowing my son to grow up a Yankees fan, just so he knows what it’s like to win something. Stop sucking.”
On the same topic, Eric L. says “What the ****. There’s no one at that flipping ball park on top of it all.***** you Atlanta. I hope you burn to the ground…(again)”
(Singing) Go, Cubs go. Go, Cubs gooooooo…… What? Too soon to start singing this ironically?
Upon David Wright’s homerun in today’s game:
Me: “Yey!”
My Roommate Meeg (in the other room): “Yey! Wait! What are we cheering for?”
Jay S. said, “You know what I love about the Yankees….I don’t know anything about sports, but I still know who Don Mattingly is. Now, Dolly Parton is a completely different story.”
Dujuan P. said to Jay M., “So if the Mets start winning, is Trish going to flip back to being a Mets fan?” Woah! Easy, aren’t you a White Sox fan? Make yourself at home….stab someone.
When Johan Santana gave up a hit in the third inning, Howie R. said on the Mets radio broadcast, “And the Mets will yet again not have a nohitter.” Dude! It was the third inning. That’s like me singing karaoke at a bar and you telling me that I just lost out on my chances of winning “American Idol.”
Mike G. said, “The Pittsburgh Pirates are in first place.” (Cue me falling off the couch laughing)
Lori S. says, “Hip, Hip Jorge!” Oh come on, Lori! You can come up with something better than that….Oh wait! That’s what your adorable baby girl says when Posada comes to bat? I’ll go hang my head in shame, now.
My uncle said, “”Go Boston Go! May the yank’s suck Boston mud. ;-)”
I refuse to comment on smack talk that isn’t grammatically correct.
And finally, from my Facebook status, “Hey Boston! You may have won this one but don’t be shocked when you see all your tires slashed in the parking lot.” Happy Opening Day, ya’ll!
Doc Gooden Charged with DWI with his Kid in the Car
You know, I’m old enough to no longer be shocked by people disappointing me. It’s an inevitable part of humanity’s imperfect nature. However, when it happens, that knowledge still can’t take away from the amazing sadness of the event. Sigh.
This week, I had a friend cut me out of their life after a stupid fight. That’s right. One fight and gone. Two and a half years of friendship tossed into the trash and for what? It’s not like we talking about two immature kids here. We’re talking about two people who should know better and have some perspective.
I was immensely disappointed at how disposable my friendship apparently was. This was a person I cared about, I was loyal to, I supported. Shouldn’t my friendship have been worth fighting out? Sigh. Maybe it’s the Italian in me.
So, how is this pertinent to this blog? Ex-New York Mets phenom and New York Yankee, Dwight Gooden, was arrested last week for DWI after a rush-hour crash with his son in the car. Although I’m merely a fan, I don’t think it’s disproportionate to say…Jesus Christ, Doc!
If you want to self-destruct, that’s fine. It’s a tragedy but fine. Sigh. However, the second you get behind the wheel with your kid in the car to boot, there’s no excuse. You put your life in danger. You put my life in danger. You put your own flesh and blood’s life in danger. It’s unacceptable.
Doc, you find new and interesting ways to disappoint me (and frankly I don’t think I’m out of line by extending the “me” metaphor to mean us, as in all your fans). You had an entire city behind you, rooting for you, supporting you and you’ve let us down. I’m not even referencing Darryl (Strawberry) and you prematurely tanking your careers, thus insuring a good twenty years before a Met will have a shot at the National Baseball Hall of Fame. That dead horse has been beaten to a pulp. I’m talking about your redemption story.
You had problems and we don’t expect you, nor want you, to be perfect. We’ve all have problems. You were fighting to get better. We were behind you. We were loyal to you. We invested in you coming out the end of this a better man, but this is what we get?
I wish I could say that this took me off guard, but this was as “shocking” as Big Mac finally coming out about his steroids use. Sadly, human nature holds true to form all the time. For once, I wish it would prove me wrong.
Bronx Zoo Baby 