Can someone explain to me why
there is any sympathy for Manny
Ramirez today? No, seriously. Please walk me through this. I’m willing to listen.
I’m listening to the talk radio and I’m
reading blogs (not unlike my own) and all I hear about is what a great
character Manny was. Character? Seriously? What’s your definition of character?
get me wrong. I appreciate the great
“characters” of the game. Tommy Lasorda,
Casey Stengel, Yogi Berra were all great
characters of the game, yet not one of them ever made a mockery of the game
like Ramirez did. Telling your team that you need to arrive
late to Spring Training for family reasons only to collect an appearance fee for an
Atlantic City car auction doesn’t quite give you the same warm fuzzy feeling as, “It’s not over, till it’s over.”
Let’s not get me started on Ramirez’ flagrant disregard for the game as well. First, he was named in the Mitchell report for
allegedly testing positive for the use of performance-enhancing drugs during the 2003 season. Ok. Go ahead and make the argument that he was
just one of many and there were no laws against PEDs at this point in
baseball. However, fast forward to 2009. Manny is suspended 50 games for violating
baseball’s drug policy…allegedly. I heard a caller yesterday on the radio actually
say, “but he was only caught with a
female hormone.” What?! Did you think Manny was trying to get pregnant?! Sadly, at this point, it’s pretty much common
knowledge that female hormones are used to restart natural testosterone
production after a steroid cycle. Fast forward to this week, Manny is informed of yet another violation of the
drug policy. That’s two positive test results since Major League
Baseball implemented their PED rules.
In true “Manny style,” Ramirez spat in the face of Major League
Baseball again. He rather retire than face
the 100 game suspension he deserves.
Manny Ramirez deserve to a ticket to the Hall of Fame? Maybe, if he pays admission. Manny might be retiring with a lifetime
batting average north of .300 and 500+ Home Runs under his belt; however, he hasn’t
shown once that he was able do it on his own without any help.
The great tragedy of Barry Bonds was that he did have the talent to make it on his
own. The great tragedy of Manny is that
we let Manny be “Manny” as long as we did.
On a day, in which I spent 80% of it looking for a job (the other 20% if you’re wondering, was going back and forth between the YES Network and a marathon of The Rachel Zoe Project on Bravo), I salute a man who has nabbed himself gainful employment in these lousy economic times. That’s right. I’m talking about Manny Ramirez.
Settle down Chi-town…
Nothing says “bad behavior gets rewarded” like Manny Ramirez getting a job. Sure, he’s a nine-time Silver Slugger and one of 25 people to have hit over 500 career home runs. His 21 career grand slams are tied with Alex Rodriguez for most by any active player, and the second-most all-time, behind Lou Gehrig. His 28 career postseason home runs are also the most by any player in MLB history. Ramirez is a 12-time All-Star. There, I said it. Twelve time All-Star. Nonetheless, let’s keep probing into these sexy, hall of fame numbers.
· Who can forget Ramirez was allegedly among a group of 104 major leaguers who tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs during 2003 survey testing. That’s a proud moment. Where will they put that on his plaque in Cooperstown?
· And who can forget 2009? Ramirez was suspended 50 games for violating Major League Baseball’s Performance Enhancing Drug policy for taking human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG). If you’re wondering, that’s a women’s fertility drug typically used by steroid users to restart their body’s natural testosterone production as they come off a steroid cycle. I wonder if Manny and I were ovulating at the same time.
· Finally, dearest White Sox, you don’t have the division in the bag. You need all hands on deck, so I ask you this – how many times has Manny done time on the DL this season? One? Nope! Two? Keep going!
Oh, and how can I forget?! Nothing brings calm and serenity to the Chicago White Sox (who frankly, as of recent, have been making the Hatfields & McCoys look like Mother Teresa and the Missionaries of Charity) like “Manny Being Manny”.
Nevertheless, the petulant child of the MLB has a job and I just applied to Target, hoping to get an interview for a cart handler. Welcome to the Windy City, Manny. Meet Ozzie. This isn’t Joe Torre and this sure aint SoCal.
(Yankee fans, take a deep sigh of relief. We dodged a bullet on this one.)